Changes

Alot can change from one post to another...

My last post was on June 20th, I was going on and on about how much we loved our new home and how Kinsey was trying to walk and talk, I posted about how Tom was working all the time but that we were doing ok, little did I know that when I went home that night we would decided to seperate, I moved back in with my parents on June 25th, on August 9th I found out that my husband of 3 1/2 years was having an affair, I found out from his girlfriend on Facebook none the less, there were pictures of him and her in our new home together, it was very devasting.  Then on August 12th, my grandmother passed away, I really needed my husband during that time but he wasn't there for me, he hasn't been the father to Kinsey that he needs to be and he puts her last all of the time, I was ready to do everything by myself, I had pretty much accepted the fact that my marriage was over and that despite that I still had someone that depended on me, I sucked it up and started making a life for Kinsey and I, but the thing about life is that it throws us some BIG curveballs, not good things all the time but not bad things all the time either.

I received a message from a guy I had gone to school and graduated with, he told me that he knew exactly what I was going through, his ex-wife had done the same thing to him and if I ever needed to talk to someone, he was more than happy to listen.  We messaged each other over the next few weeks, he was even there for me when my grandmother passed, he was in Texas, but he checked on me all day the day my grandmother died and he told me he wished he could have been in town for the visitation and all the other things, we had my grandmother's memorial service on a Monday and the next day he asked if I would like to have lunch with him, just as friends and I said yes, I figured it couldn't hurt anything and might do me some good to get out of the house for a few hours.  Well, we had lunch and it was just history from there, Tommy and I have been dating for 2 months and it has been the best two months of my life! He treats me the way a woman is suppose to be treated, and yes he LOVES LOVES LOVES Kinsey and she loves him too! He has been there for me through my WORST days and he can always make them so much better, he is a very amazing man, I think God brought Tom into my life for one reason, Kinsey.  The rest was a learning experience, did I get my heart broke? Oh yes, big time...Do I still love Tom? Yes, because he is the father of my child, am I still IN love with him? No...Tom commited the ultimate sin in a marriage, he went outside our marriage, disrespected our vows and slept with another woman, that I will NEVER forgive him for...EVER!

But Tom did me a favor, he made me realize that I deserve better and I have found better, Tommy loves me and I am so in love with him, Kinsey is being raised by two people that love her and want to spend time with her and that is what she needs.

Speaking of Kinsey, guess who is walking? Or should I say trying to run now? She is into everything! But, I am glad she is walking, she has a little bit of independence now, she loves playing with Rayden and Serephina (Tommy's kids) and can almost keep up with them, she is still such a happy baby, I think somedays she is happier than she was when her father and I were together.  She sleeps all night now, hardly ever cries for me to hold her, and she just goes non stop 24/7!

Things change, sometimes not for the best but sometimes we think it's the worst just to find out it is for the best, I am happy with the way my life has turned out...I still have my days where I cry and wonder if I could've done anything differently but then I realize that I wouldn't change a thing, because this is where I am supposed to be.